Maintaining Perspective Reader's Digest calls it "the best medicine," and the research community has indeed proved that laughter is good for both body and soul. Thanks to Laurie Whyte, Local 951, for the following:
Things I Have Learned From My Children
(You Too Can Learn From the Experiences of Others!)
- If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape.
- It is strong enough, however to spread paint on all four walls of a 20-by-20 foot room.
- When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh-oh," it's already too late.
- Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
- A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.
- If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak -- it explodes.
- A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square-foot house four inches deep.
- Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.
- Super glue is forever.
- McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.
- No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
- Pool filters were not designed for Jell-O.
- VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
- Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
- The fire department has at least a three-minute response time.
- The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.
- It will, however, make cats dizzy.
- Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.